hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
