Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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