So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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