finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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