What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
me + whiskey = a bad person
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
