if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I need water and some morals
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
