Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
