I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
