weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
