The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
