last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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