We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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