chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
