she kept yelling 'call me bella'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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