'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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