well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
