dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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