What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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