apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
