Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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