I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
