Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
