Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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