Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
