I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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