Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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