I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
