I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
