Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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