I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
