I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
