Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
