That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
