And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
