You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
