we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
