Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
