worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
