Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
