Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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