I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
