dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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