Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
