Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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