More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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