Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
