Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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