New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
