so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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