at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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